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(Source: kanrose, via djcheesymac)
Not much happened over the last week. Well, I guess some things did. Fred is the only one who sits with me at lunch now, and that creepy sub is now our teacher because Frau Minden quit apparently. It was really out of the blue, and I can’t help but feel there’s something suspicious about it. The way that guy stares at me makes me all different kinds of uncomfortable.
My squirrel still hasn’t moved much beyond twitching, but it does now clean it’s face. It’s starting to be cutely frustrating. But at least it’s doing something now. It’s being very squirrel-like, which I guess is good. And the weather has been really great lately. Fred and I went walking downtown, and it was really fun. We went to this store I’d never been to before. It was a little thrift shop and it was way cool. I bought a new skirt, and it’s super cute. I’m really glad that Fred is around. Without him, I’d be completely alone. I have no idea what’s happening with the others, but they’re just ignoring me. When I plead with them to talk to me, they just scoff and toss their hair, walking away with just a sneer and no words spoken.
It’s pretty lonely, but there is Fred. And some guys. I dunno what it is, but around the time my friends stopped being my friends, there is this group of guys that’s been staring at me a lot at lunch, and when I have a class with one of them, they always sit near me. Fred is almost always on my left in class, so they either sit on the right, or in front of me, or behind me. I have no idea what’s with them, but it’s really creepy. If Fred didn’t make me go to school, I probably wouldn’t.
On the bright side, it’s supposed to rain tomorrow, which means more water magic practice. I’m actually really looking forward to it. I just really like practicing this magic. I’m definitely feeling it more now, and I have way more control. I can feel it. Things are coming together and it’s way awesome. I’m really happy.
So yesterday, it was raining. Which meant no cute little fire squirrel could run around in the field, but that was totally okay because I got to do something better. Fred said that since we couldn’t do fire magic, and since it was raining, we could do some water magic. It was really basic, but really hard. Basically, I had to stop the rain from falling on me. I had to stay dry. Of course I could barely do it, and got pretty soaked while Fred stayed completely dry. But afterwords, he took me out for coffee, and we spent some time with some school friends. It was pretty nice, really. I feel a lot better about my magic, and I know it’s going to take some time, and I’m okay with it. More okay with it than I was before.
But while we were out at coffee, we saw that weird substitute teacher again. He just happened to come in the same coffee shop with us, and sat a couple tables away. According to Mercy, he kept on giving us glances. She was convinced he was looking at her, because he’s pretty and she’s pretty, and it was pretty fucking bullshit, but that’s besides the point. He still skeeves me right the fuck out, and I was pretty uncomfortable. So we changed location to the bookstore, and I got a thing. That part was pretty great, so yay new books.
Today though, the field was still damp, so we decided to actually take a break from magic, for the most part. I did do a little flying and can now stay up twelve minutes. Though I can’t get very high, just about as high as a five story building, or something like that, before I fall. I’m okay though, Fred definitely was there to catch me and help me stabilize. It’s pretty fun, flying. I can’t wait to learn how to use my energy better and stay up for as long as I please. It will make travel just so much easier, I think.
Also, I don’t know if you heard, but My Chemical Romance broke up. It’s pretty sad, I feel. They weren’t my number one favorite, but I did like them quite a bit, and I feel bad for the people that are sobbing over it. I know I would be sobbing for days if my favorite band broke up, so I totally get that. If any of you are fans, feel free to drop me an ask, or message me, and we’ll talk. I’m always down for answering questions.
P.S, I’m always down for answering questions. Seriously, send me some asks about anything! I’d really love to hear from you all!
- you guys are allowed to send me messages
- you’re allowed to just say hi
- you can ask me for my skype or whatever
- feel free to just tell me about your day as if we’ve been best friends since forever
- you’re all good to ask anything you want to know
- don’t be afraid to be off anon
- you can talk to me
- i like talking to you guys
- please
- i dont bite
normally
(Source: thatwhoviansynesthete, via shsldummy)
thalmoe asked: will u teach me how to dougie?
I… don’t quite know how to do that myself. I haven’t thought about that in ages. Wow. Okay. Random.
The last school day of the week. This week has been pretty shitty, I’m not going to lie, and a lot of things have been going wrong. I set the field on fire again, even though my squirrel didn’t move. And I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep lately, and that’s been making school shitty. People have been… less than kind to me lately, and I don’t know why, what shifted, or what changed. The best person through all of it has been Fred. I was sure he was disappointed by me all this time, but when I set the field on fire again, and broke down and started crying, he hugged me until I stopped, which was a full twenty minutes later. He didn’t say anything, he just hugged me really tight. When I was done, he said it was okay, and then he started to tell me about what he did when he first started doing magic, and how he flooded his school, and how he burned down a field because he practiced before he had a teacher. It was a pretty great comfort, and we’ve been getting closer as friends.
Today though, something bothered me. We had a substitute teacher in my German class, and while that doesn’t usually bother me, this teacher just skeeved me right the fuck out. No one else seemed to notice, and Fred isn’t in my German class, but the teacher seemed to stare at me pretty constantly, and I sensed… something like a dark energy coming off him. I asked Fred if I’d be able to sense that and he told me I definitely could, but it must be strong for me to be able to do it so soon. We were able to create a mental link, and I sent the feeling towards him, and he agreed that something is definitely weird about that substitute. I hope he isn’t there come Monday, because I’m not really sure what I’ll do without Fred around.
In addition to practicing fire magic, I also practiced getting that mental connection with Fred. Since the sub was weird as fuck, Fred thinks it’s important that we work on it, and I agree. It’s been a little tough, and it gives me a headache after a while, but it’s definitely worth the effort and hard work.
Tomorrow, I get to try my hand at flying again and see how long I can stay up in the air, and see how high I can go. It should be pretty interesting, and I’m kind of excited about it. So I’ll update you then.
There’s a few minutes left. But my response might be FUCK YOU, FUCK THIS, FUCK THAT, FUCK EVERYTHING. Just a heads up. My squirrel moved though.
First day back at school after the weekend. It sucked. Not as much magic today, and I didn’t do as well in Chemistry as I had hoped. Fred did most of it because I couldn’t figure anything out. I’m upset about this, but whatever, nothing I can do. I was doing homework, but I got it done, so now I’m just sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I guess. Fucking hell, this sucks so much.
When we went to practice the fire magic, my squirrel didn’t even twitch when it did yesterday. I was so confident it would take at least a step, but after two hours, it didn’t even fucking twitch. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I do this? Fred hasn’t talked to me a lot today, and he was pretty short with me when we were practicing magic. I just feel like shit. I don’t even know why I’m bothering to write right now, no one gives a fuck, not even I give a fuck.
Never mind.
We again got to focus solely on magic today, though Fred and I both had a bit of homework to get done. He’s apparently been around since the beginning of time, so he knows a lot and helped me with my work as well. So after that we went out to the field where I promptly started a fire that Fred had to put out. I felt really bad, but he just laughed and said it wasn’t a big deal. I still haven’t talked to him about how inadequate I feel because I’m afraid that he’ll tell me I actually am.
But actually, after setting part of the field on fire, I was able to make a stationary squirrel without even scorching anything. We worked for a long time, but the most I could do was make his tail twitch. I guess that’s something a little impressive, which makes me feel good. I thought I would be able to make him move a bit more, but I guess most people don’t even manage a twitch on their first try. Maybe I should stop feeling so useless? I just need to talk to Fred. I really really need to. I will. I’ll do it tonight. I promise.
But yeah. We also tried a little bit of flight, and I was able to stay up for eleven minutes before falling on my ass in the dirt. But that’s a minute longer than last time. A full sixty seconds more. Apparently my focus is getting better, which also makes me feel good. Fred told me to start trying to control water flow when I’m in the shower or bathtub, so that’s cool. Usually people do that right away though, so what sounds like it’s good proves I’m still a bit behind.
I’m just not used to controlling my emotions so strictly, and that’s a large part of the problem. It’s getting better, I can feel it getting better. Tomorrow I have school, and I’ve done a bit more alchemy research, so I’m sure I’ll do well in the chemistry lab. Fred and I are partners, and I’m pretty sure he set it up that way. He wants me to do what I can, and he’ll cover the rest, so I’m hoping to impress him a bit with my skill. Really it’s a personal goal to impress Fred. I’ll definitely let you know how that goes.
